Its still very difficult for me to overcome my past mistakes.... I have been dwelling over it whenever I look at my portfolio.. I cant stop feeling regretful over my past actions... This might be also because of the immense pressure I am facing... I have been trading on borrowed money thus after encountering large losses, its more difficult for me to make the interest payments.
The rationale move is to stay calm and distract myself from the DESIRE to recoup but the "evil" thoughts have been fleeting on my mind.... trying to recoup losses as fast as possible but in meantime, not considering the potential losses... This is a mistake which I am always committing... A wrong mindset that leads to a whole vicious cycle triggered.... My perception of risk taking is skewed... My brain was always tuned to look at the profits... the gains but never one time, I consider the risk too... This might be because my brained is trained too long towards this direction so in order to fix it, it will definitely take much much longer.
My first challenge is to look positive in face of adversity.. Only by doing this, I might have a chance to tweak my mindset again... As i emphasize on my previous posts, for myself, its very difficult to "force" rules without understanding... I tend to break it whenever i try very hard to resist...... The harder I try to resist, the more I will break the rule.. I can give myself some comfort by thinking that my account is not totally blown out... Though 70% is lost but on the other hand, I still have 30% left so if I try hard enough and disciplined, I might still recoup the loss.... Also at same time, if I continue my old ways, gambling recklessly, i will lose everything and chances of recouping will be much much lower..
My trading situation is currently at EMERGENCY state where it requires immediate action.....I need to keep my foolish "GREED" in check... Such emotions arise also due to occasional envy of other people doing better so most importantly, I need to train my mind..... A mind of contentment, virtuous is something I am striving for....
This is a very tough personal challenge due to my proneness to emotions but I believe theres hope as long as I practice mindfulness.. observing all my thoughts.. actions and etc.... analyze them and assess if theres better way to improve my "thinking".
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