A tinge of regret but so what?

For the past few days, I have feel very regretful again on the large losses I have incurred on my trading account over the years. My portfolio has shed 70% on value and to bring back to break even, I will need to double my account more than two times.... A recap on how all this "mess" happens.... I have always took trading as a venue to dispel boredom... Whenever I felt bored, I will take big trades and if it turns out to be a loss, I will trade more, hoping to recoup my previous loss and if a loss happens again, I will tend to think in a skewed probability (thinking profit is coming soon after a loss where all events are actually independent of each)... This triggers the whole cycle of blind trading, with just greed in my mind... ignoring everything...

Whenever I felt sad, I used trading as a venue to vent my sadness too... to distract myself... trading very large amount to seek excitement. Its very similar to gambling or maybe its exactly like gambling... I have never got away in any of my attempts.... Though I have gained a lot from my risky trading ways but its never enough.. I will take larger positions... Larger and larger and for every loss I incur again, I will take more risk to recoup so needless to say, its just a matter of time I lose everything..... I have never genuinely took any efforts to curb myself from gambling... Despite reminding myself not to fall to the same vicious cycle again, I can't seem to do it.... I have tried very hard to resist but the harder I try, the more Im falling to the same trap..

There is always pain from trading but suffering might be optional.... Its the reaction towards the event that caused most problems.... Using my example as illustration, its my ego and greed that caused me to behave irrationally.  Its my desire to "take revenge on my loss" that leads to more pain, triggering a vicious cycle... I realized taking a trade with the wrong intention is very harmful to my own mind regardless the outcome is.... Even if I manage to take a profit and recoup all my previous losses, I am already at a disadvantage. My mindset is totally wrong.. corrupted with the wrong values and its just a matter of time before it bites me again...

I am really regretful of my actions but I am fully aware the past cant be changed... On a positive note, I really learn a lot from this painful and expensive experience.. I discover how emotional I can get and how also how foolish I am.... Regrets with all the past negative emotions will only hinder me from recovering so I really need to get over it and take small steps to achieve a virtue trading mindset...

a) Gambling Free >> Shouldnt take trading as a mode of entertainment to seek excitement..
b) Suffer Free > Pain is inevitable but my reaction towards it is the most important (i.e never revenge trade or either with purpose of just recouping)
c) Trading with an empty mind, expecting nothing out of it.....Its the detachment that kills me.... The desire >> greed and everything...